#HateWins: the love war

American flag

This week, the landscape of my social media changed. Videos of toddlers tipping over and puppies meeting mirrors gave way to rainbows, Bibles, and wedding rings. This week, the invisible but apparently insuperable trench between my liberal friends and my conservative friends widened and became a war zone—not because of a Supreme Court decision, but because of our reactions to it.

Angry words fly. New hashtags appear in favour of—or in fury against—recent events.

My friends who believe our country has taken a great stride towards equality this week celebrate. And they have reason to celebrate; to them, this is a victory for an oppressed minority.

But I’ve always hated the kid on the playground who won and then rubbed the loser’s face in it.

Please, my liberal friends, win gracefully. If #lovewins, demonstrate it by showing love to those who fought against you at every step. Remember that they, too, are fighting for convictions—beliefs they hold as deeply as you do yours.


My friends who believe our country has taken a great stride towards destruction this week mourn. And they have reason to mourn; to them, this is a desecration of something holy.

But I’ve always hated the kid on the playground who lost and then pouted.

Please, my conservative friends, lose gracefully. If you claim to follow a loving God, demonstrate it by showing His love to those whose lifestyles counter yours daily. Remember that for them, too, your Saviour died—for sins no blacker than yours.


My liberal friends, remember that if your open-mindedness extends only to those who share your convictions, it masks intolerance.

My conservative friends, remember that you follow the Jesus of prostitutes and thieves, and if your love ends at the church doors, it masks hate.

I beg for grace, from both sides and for both sides.

Because your identity is so much broader than which side of this trench you claim. Your life is far too complex, too rich, too unique to be encapsulated in this one opinion.

And so is every other life around you.

I’m exhausted by the sneers, the jabs, the hate. I see a battlezone strewn with hurting people firing indiscriminate barbs at other hurting people.

I ache for a day when love truly wins.

white flag


About Elizabeth Syson

While consuming tea and coffee at an alarming rate, I read and write everything I can and pursue my unnatural love of copyediting. My hobbies include learning new instruments and languages, riding horseback, sketching very badly indeed, and periodically recommitting to doing yoga regularly. View all posts by Elizabeth Syson

98 responses to “#HateWins: the love war

  • cxjx

    By the way, commenters. I am gay, I am not a political movement. I am a person. You can argue, but you can never spend a day in my shoes. I had no choice, as much as you argue that I did. I have been berated, hated, abused, and condemned by a “loving” church. I prayed fervently for God to take the “affliction” away from me and he did not. Because he doesn’t make mistakes. I live an ordinary life and have shared it with a man for over 11 years, my first boyfriend ever, and the person I have loved the deepest. Together we have watched straight fiends meet, date, marry, divorce, date and marry again with no opposition. Meanwhile I’m to keep my mouth shut as we are called “deviants” and people tell us they love us but hate our “sin”. I’ve come to the point of my life where I don’t care. Because I am not a sin, I am a person, I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. And I have respected those of faith to a much greater degree than they have ever respected me, you get to a point where you’re desensitized to being told you’re going to hell, and you try to make your own way loving the best life you can. Non-Christians are going to hell but they still marry. So many groups are going to hell according to Christian doctrine, but they still marry. It’s hard to not feel like there is a witch hunt after this one group of people. Of course they’re angry. But at the end of the day, I am a person, not an agenda. I deserve love, and I want nothing to do with your brand of Christianity. The difference is I’m not asking the government to take anything away from you.


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